What can I do when meeting new people feels difficult and I feel left out in group projects where groups aren't already formed?

Hello, 

For many people, approaching new people when it's time for group work can feel challenging. It can be especially difficult if you're already feeling lonely or excluded. You may worry about being rejected if you approach someone, while at the same time feeling that you could end up without a group if you don't take the initiative yourself. 

If you're afraid of being turned down when reaching out, it may feel easier to wait and hope that someone else invites you to join their group instead. There's no right or wrong approach here. The important thing is finding a way that works for you. 

Sometimes, it can be valuable to do things even when they feel uncomfortable or nerve-racking. By doing so, you may gain experiences and learn things that you wouldn't if you always chose the option that felt easiest. What do you think it would be like to say hello and ask someone if they'd like to work together, even if you don't feel completely confident or comfortable? For example, you could ask, "Have you joined a group yet?" and "Would you like to work together?" 

While new groups are being formed for group work, try not to interpret other people's behaviour too quickly. When we're feeling lonely, it's easy to notice and focus on things that seem to confirm that feeling of being excluded. We may observe other people's relationships and conclude that they're not interested in us or that it's too late to find people to work with in group assignments. However, thoughts like these rarely lead anywhere constructive, and it can be helpful to take a step back from them rather than accepting them at face value. 

Finally, I want to emphasise that it is not solely your responsibility to solve this situation. If forming a group proves difficult, you can contact the lecturer or course coordinator responsible for the assignment and explain that you need help finding a group. 

I hope you find an approach that feels right for you in what can be a challenging situation. 

Wishing you all the best! 

Licensed Psychologist