How can I stop a negative thought spiral when the pressure I put on myself becomes overwhelming?
Hi! I’m struggling with several problems in my life and don’t know where to start. I’m taking antidepressants because I’ve been feeling low, I take sleeping medication to help me sleep, and I’m seeing a psychologist and receiving internet-based CBT. At the same time, I have a constant stream of thoughts running through my mind that leads me to judge things as good or bad. For example, I often think of food as healthy or unhealthy, and I feel like I need to exercise every day in order to feel satisfied. It becomes almost like obsessive thoughts, while at the same time I know that exercise is good for you when you’re feeling low, as are daylight, physical activity, and so on. What started out as positive thoughts about wanting to take care of myself somehow becomes harmful, and I never feel satisfied with how much I exercise, the quality of the food I cook, or how I manage my relationships. I feel like I want to reset my brain so I can start over and feel well again, but of course that isn’t possible. How can I think and act differently to break out of this negative spiral and turn things around?
Thank you for reaching out to us!
It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time and putting a lot of effort into trying to feel better and take care of yourself.
It’s important that you’re already in contact with healthcare professionals, as this means you have an opportunity to get support with what you’re experiencing. If you’re unsure what your current treatment is intended to help with, or whether it is addressing the difficulties you’re struggling with, it would be a good idea to talk about this with your psychologist. If your current treatment is focused on something else, you may need to discuss whether to continue with the same approach or whether another type of support might be more helpful.
Since you’re also taking medication, it would be a good idea to make an appointment with your doctor to review how the treatment is working, discuss the symptoms you’re experiencing, and consider whether any adjustments may be needed.
Coming back to the difficulties you describe, it sounds as though healthy activities that began with a desire to take care of yourself have gradually become associated with strict demands and self-criticism. It can feel as though thoughts about what you should be doing are important and therefore demand a great deal of your attention. When a lot of time and energy is spent trying to work out, evaluate, and respond to these thoughts, this can contribute to them continuing to take up a lot of space.
When so much of your attention is focused on what you should be doing and whether you’re doing enough, it can also become harder to make room for the things you genuinely enjoy, are interested in, and want your life to contain.
Sometimes, it is the struggle with our thoughts that causes them to take up even more space, and the struggle itself becomes part of the negative spiral. The goal does not necessarily have to be to silence your thoughts or to become completely satisfied with your choices once and for all. Instead, it can be about practising allowing the thoughts to be there, without feeling that every thought about what you should do needs to be analysed or acted upon.
The key, then, is to work on reducing the influence these thoughts have over what you do by learning to relate differently to the constant stream of thoughts in your mind. This is something you can practise, preferably with the support of a therapist.
The fact that you want to take care of yourself and are actively seeking support is a strength. I hope you get the help you need to manage the difficulties that are getting in your way the most, and that the treatment you have already started can help you begin making changes that make a difference to how you feel. And don’t give up if it takes a little time to find the right support!
Licensed psychologist