Why do I become so sad and stressed every time I have to take an exam or submit an assignment? 

Hello, and thank you for reaching out to us! 

I’m sorry to hear how distressing it has become for you when you’re in situations where you need to perform academically. You’re wondering if something is wrong with you, and I want to start by reassuring you that it isn’t. 

What often happens is a kind of vicious circle: a situation that most people find stressful to some degree triggers a strong reaction, and your brain then begins to associate similar situations with danger, even though you logically know they’re not life‑threatening. 

These reactions are sometimes compared to a faulty fire alarm that goes off as if there were flames everywhere, even when there’s no smoke at all. 

In performance anxiety, it’s often not just the physical stress reaction (like a racing heart) that creates the biggest discomfort, but the catastrophic, self‑critical thoughts — things like “this exam means everything,” “I’m going to fail,” or “there’s something wrong with me.” This type of worry can maintain and amplify the reaction. 

Because of this, it’s difficult to do what you describe — to “get rid of the feeling.” When the brain perceives a threat, the fight‑or‑flight system activates, and the physical reaction makes it impossible not to feel stressed. 

The best way to handle this automatic reaction is to remind yourself of what is actually happening, and to try to allow the feelings and bodily sensations to be there, even if they’re uncomfortable. 

It’s also helpful to notice what the strong emotions make you think — for example, if they lead you into catastrophic thinking. In such moments, it’s wise to bring yourself back to a more factual understanding: “I’m having a stress reaction, and it makes everything feel dangerous.” You can also gather your focus through whatever grounding strategies work for you — a brief breathing exercise, or intentionally directing your attention to sounds around you for a minute. 

The purpose of these exercises is not to eliminate the feelings, but to help you steady yourself during intense stress and get a bit of distance from the brain’s alarmed interpretation of the situation. 

With practice in allowing, and gaining perspective on the stress and anxiety you experience before and during exams, your confidence in managing these reactions can grow. Over time, the intensity of the reaction often decreases. 

In some cases, it can be helpful to work with a psychologist using CBT to address the physical symptoms of anxiety if they feel frightening or overwhelming — such as heart palpitations, dizziness, chest pressure, or difficulty breathing. If you feel you need more support, you can book an appointment with a psychologist or counsellor. 

Licensed psychologist