Self-esteem
Do you feel accepted and that you are good enough just as you are? Or does your attitude toward yourself depend on how you perform or on validation from others? Self-esteem is about the fundamental way you relate to yourself. It is influenced, among other things, by your sense of self-worth and by how much you trust your own abilities.
As an international student, you are not only in a new context academically, but you are also in a new country without your safety net of family and friends nearby. It challenges your self-esteem, but that does not have to be a bad thing. It is in challenges that we get the chance to grow.
Self-esteem affects our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
Self-esteem develops partly through our experiences of succeeding and failing, and through how we have been treated and accepted by others. Low self-esteem can make us more vulnerable and influence how we think, feel, and act.
At the same time, our behavior affects how we view ourselves. What we do—or do not do—can both strengthen and weaken our self-esteem.
If you have healthy self-esteem, it can act as a protective factor against mental ill health. It helps you maintain more realistic expectations of yourself and others, and to accept that no one can be liked by everyone or perform at their best all the time.
Setting boundaries and expressing needs
People with low self-esteem may often be afraid of being rejected or disappointing others. This can make it difficult to say no and to prioritize their own needs. One example of vulnerable self-esteem is so-called performance-based self-esteem. This means that you value yourself based on your achievements and only feel satisfied with yourself when you perform at a high level.
Self-esteem can vary throughout life. It is completely normal for it to be affected by difficult or stressful life events.
What can you do to strengthen your self-esteem?
- Try to understand yourself Be curious about your thoughts and feelings. Practice distinguishing between thoughts that provide you with valuable information and thoughts that are overly negative and should be taken with a grain of salt.
- Set reasonable demands on yourself Listen to your inner dialogue. Are the demands you place on yourself reasonable? Practice slowing down to a “just right” pace. Notice which fears arise when you do this—and see if you can dare to act differently despite them.
- Practice saying yes and no Say yes to things you are curious about, that make you feel good, and that feel meaningful. Also practice saying no to things you don’t really want to do or that take more than they give.
- Take care of yourself and your body Physical activity, nutritious food, and sufficient sleep are important foundations for both mental and physical well-being.
- Surround yourself with supportive people Try to have people around you who make you feel good and who appreciate you for who you are.
When to seek professional help