Relationships

The way we relate to others affects how we feel. We can gain energy from being in social situations and with other people. We can also gain energy from solitude and reflection - by withdrawing for a while and recharging. Often, we need both. Listen to your needs: what do you need to create a good balance between social interaction and time on your own?

 

Our past experiences of relationships can affect how we form connections with others in adulthood. Some people seek a great deal of closeness, while others place a strong value on their independence. Neither is “wrong,” but different attachment patterns can sometimes make relationships more challenging, as they influence how we interpret others’ behavior and how we react in relationships.

In all relationships, misunderstandings and conflicts arise from time to time. What determines the quality of a relationship is not whether conflicts occur, but how they are handled. Being able to listen, express needs and feelings without blame, and take responsibility for one’s own part in what is happening can make relationships more sustainable and secure.

Relationships are complex, and it can be difficult to understand how a healthy relationship differs from an unhealthy one. A short answer is that an unhealthy relationship - whether with a partner, friend, or parent - makes you feel unwell in various ways. You may ruminate and feel worried about the relationship or about the person involved. You might feel worn down, sleep poorly, or experience physical symptoms linked to the relationship.

A relationship can be destructive even without physical violence. Control, belittling behavior, blaming, or someone limiting your contacts or life choices are also signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Emotions, boundaries, and balance

Being in a relationship with someone involves compromise - a give and take. However, it is important that there is balance.

Feelings such as jealousy, insecurity, or fear of being abandoned are common in relationships and do not necessarily mean that something is wrong. But they become problematic if they lead to suspicion, control, or restrictions on another person’s life.

• How you feel about yourself affects your relationships
  Listening to your own feelings, taking your needs seriously, and showing yourself respect are important parts of being able to have healthy relationships with others.
• You can never change another person
  You can only change your own behavior and how you act toward the person you are in a relationship with.
• Practice healthy assertiveness
  Set your own boundaries, say no, and express your opinions.
• Ask yourself whether the relationship is good for you
  If you repeatedly answer no, you may need to end it.