Perfectionism

Perfectionism is to constantly strive for perfection and placing unreasonably high expectations on yourself or others. This is often time-consuming at the expense of other important things in life.

 

You can be a perfectionist in different areas of life, such as work, studies, relationships, exercise, or appearance. Often, one or a few areas are experienced as more important than others for our sense of self‑worth, and we therefore invest a lot of energy in them.
 
Perfectionism is not a diagnosis, although it may be related to other forms of mental ill health such as depression and anxiety. Rather, it is a way of relating to expectations, demands and performance.
 

Can be associated with exhaustion and low mood

Perfectionistic demands are difficult, or even impossible, to live up to and often lead to self-criticism. It is common to get caught up in constantly trying to improve things and worrying about how to maintain the high level.

For this reason, perfectionism is associated with exhaustion, low mood, and a feeling that life is empty and demanding. High demands on others, or general dissatisfaction with what they do can also cause problems in relationships. 

Perfectionism becomes problematic when it leads to:

  • Difficulties finishing a task and feeling “done”.  
  • Having too many “must-do’s” in life.  
  • Postponing or avoiding tasks out of fear of failing.  
  • Inability to choose and make decisions.  
  • Valuing yourself based on how well you meet your high standards.  

Try this if you want to make a change

Reflect on what your demands are and at what cost. Maybe the motivation to change comes from a desire to set more “reasonable” demands to be able to spend more time with others, do fun things or just be free sometimes.

  • Make a list of the benefits and costs of perfectionism Benefits might include, for example, “I feel competent” or “I receive praise and stand out.” Examples of costs include “I rarely have time to relax” and “I don’t have time for things I enjoy doing.” Decide whether you want to make a change.
  • Notice of your perfectionistic thoughts and behaviours Do you really have to do what your mind tells you to? What are your real needs? Look at your situation from a larger perspective and try to choose a wise and healthy approach even if it is hard. 
  • Limit the amount of time you may spend on a task Try to accept the anxiety that can be triggered when you go against your usual ways. It will get easier over time.  
  • Do more of what makes you feel good As you spend less time on unreasonable demands, you can gradually increase behaviours that make you feel better. Set aside time in your calendar for things that make you feel good and make sure you execute your plans.

When to seek professional help 

When perfectionism becomes an obstacle in your studies or relationships, it may be a good idea to seek support. You can get help finding new perspectives and ways of relating to your perfectionistic thoughts and behaviors.
 
You can contact Student Health Services for advice and support, or for guidance on where to seek help. You can also contact your primary care center or seek help via 1177.se.
 
 
Last updated: 2026-04-01

 

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