Reward yourself
Challenging our fears takes a lot of power and energy and requires courage. Therefore, it’s good if we can have a friendly and supportive attitude towards ourselves. Yet we often do the opposite, that is, we criticise ourselves for finding something difficult.
What can you do instead of thinking negatively about your situation and your efforts?
Aim for a non-evaluative approach where, without judging your efforts, you focus on doing the things you want to practise at a pace that feels good for you. Think about how you would act if you were a football coach who wanted to help your players develop through encouragement and constructive criticism. What would you pay attention to? How would you express yourself? What tone would you use? See if you can draw parallels to how you can treat yourself and adopt a positive coaching style as you manage your own training towards handling speech situations differently.
Reward your efforts
Try to focus on doing what you can, and rewarding yourself for your efforts, no matter how you think you have performed. It can feel hard to reward ourselves if we think that what we practise is “ridiculous” or something that “anyone” can do. Plan something rewarding anyway. In the long run, it can help you increase these behaviours in everyday life where you look after yourself. Suggestions for rewards after you have challenged yourself are things that feel nice, fun, relaxing or rewarding in some other way. Examples: going for a coffee, doing a fun activity with someone else or by yourself, eating a good meal, going to the cinema or having an evening free of any requirements. Plan the reward for the day you are going to do something challenging, and then allow yourself the reward regardless of whether negative feelings and thoughts arise or not.