Barriers to balance
Why is it so hard to find balance in life? Life itself can contain both major and minor difficulties and trials. In addition to things that we can’t control, there are the decisions that we make ourselves because they feel easiest at the time, but that take our energy. By becoming more aware of what we can do differently and how we can deal with barriers, we can increase our well-being.
Short-term thinking
When we’re most stressed, it’s difficult to see the bigger picture because our focus narrows to what feels most urgent. Even though most of us know that it’s important to sleep well, eat regularly, stay active and take breaks, we often make short-term decisions that feel right in the moment when we have a lot to do. We work late into the night, cancel plans and skip breaks to free up time. This can feel productive, but it isn’t sustainable in the long run.
Letting emotions take over
Short-term thinking is often driven by emotions that block us from making wise decisions. Our desire to avoid uncomfortable feelings starts to control our actions. This can involve avoiding setting boundaries or saying no when we need to, or saying no to things we actually want to do. For example, saying “yes” despite not wanting to or having the energy, out of fear of disappointing someone, or saying “no” even though we would like to do something because we’re worried we won’t manage everything we have to do.
Urgency behaviours
A common response to stress is engaging in so-called urgency behaviours (sometimes referred to as “hurry sickness”), where we act quickly in the belief that it will make us more effective. We speak quickly, rush around, eat fast, or do several things at the same time. In reality, multi-tasking is rarely productive, and acting as if everything is urgent fuels the stress response rather than help us deal with stress.
Life rules
Another factor that drives our behaviour is our so-called life rules. These are rules shaped by our upbringing and experiences. They are a guide in different situations and often help us get things done and achieve goals, but when life rules are too rigid, they can become problematic. For example, a life rule like “I must finish everything before I can rest” can prevent recovery.
The stress paradox
It’s hardest to engage in restorative activities when we need them the most. Partly, it’s harder to prioritise rest and relaxation when it feels like we don’t have time for it. And partly, we get so wound up when we’re stressed that sleep can be impaired, and we may feel too restless to take a break.
You have now read about some factors that can hinder your recovery. Take a moment to reflect on the questions below before moving on to the section about strategies for managing stress.
- How does short-term thinking show up for you when you’re stressed? Give examples.
- Do you sometimes do things that risk increasing stress because you find it hard to say no?
- Are there any particularly demanding life rules that prevent you from getting the recovery you need?