Perfectionism

 

You can be a perfectionist in various areas of life, such as work, studies, relationships, exercise, or appearance. Perfectionism is not a diagnosis or disease, although it could be related to depression, anxiety, or other types of mental illness. Rather, it is how you deal with expectations, demands and achievements.

Perfectionistic demands are difficult, or even impossible, to live up to and often lead to self-criticism. It is common to get caught up in constantly trying to improve things and worryingon how to maintain the high level.

Can be associated with exhaustion and depression

Perfectionism is often associated with exhaustion and depression, and a feeling that life is empty and demanding. High personal standards or dissatisfaction with what others do may also cause problems in relationships. 

As an international student, your own and others’ demands and expectations might be even higher. Perhaps you have paid for your education yourself or feel an increased pressure to perform well in a new academic environment.

Perfectionism becomes problematic when it leads to:

• Difficulties finishing a task and feeling “done”.  
• Having too many “must-do’s” in life.  
• Postponing or avoiding tasks out of fear of failing.  
• Inability to choose and make decisions.  
• That you value yourself based on how well you succeed in meeting your ambitious standards.  

Try this if you want to make a change

Reflect on what your demands are and at what cost. Maybe the motivation to change comes from a desire to set more “reasonable” demands to be able to spend more time with others, do fun things or just be free sometimes.

• Take notice of your perfectionistic thoughts and behaviours
  Do you really have to do what your mind tells you to? What are your real needs? Look at your situation from a larger perspective and try to choose a wise and healthy approach even if it is hard. 
• Limit the amount of time you may spend on a task
  Try to accept the anxiety that can be triggered when you go against your usual ways. It will get easier over time.  
• Set aside time in your calendar for activities that are good for you
  As you spend less time on unreasonable demands, you can gradually increase behaviours that make you feel better. Set aside time in your calendar for things that make you feel good and make sure you execute your plans.

When to seek professional help 

When perfectionism becomes an obstacle in your studies or your relationships, it is usually helpful to talk to someone and get help finding new perspectives and strategies to handle your thoughts and high demands.

You can turn to the Student Health office for advice and support, or to get guidance on where you can seek help. You can also contact your local health centre or seek help via 1177.se.