Self-esteem
Do you feel accepted and that you are good enough as you are? Or is your attitude towards yourself dependent on your achievements and others’ confirmation? Self-esteem is the attitude you have towards yourself and is influenced by your experience of self-worth and your trust in yourself.
During your studies, you are constantly faced with new roles, contexts, and performance requirements, for example, when a new course starts or when you are part of a new group of some kind. These constant changes mean that your self-esteem is subjected to challenges.
As an international student, you are not only in a new context academically, but you are also in a new country without your standard safety net of family and friends around you. It challenges your self-esteem, but that does not have to be a bad thing. It is in challenges that we get the chance to grow.
Self-esteem affects our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
Self-esteem partly develops from our experiences of succeeding and failing, and of being accepted, or not, by others. It affects how we think, our feelings, and our behaviours.
If you have high self-esteem, you have a stronger protection against mental illness. Self-esteem helps you have reasonable expectations of yourself and others. For example, you know and feel that no one can be liked by everyone or always perform perfectly.
Low self-esteem can make you put others’ needs before your own
People with low self-esteem can be afraid of being rejected or of disappointing others. It can be difficult to prioritise your own needs because everyone else’s needs come first.
An example of whether your self-esteem is fragile is if you have so-called “performance-based self-esteem”. This means that you value yourself based on your achievements and that you only feel satisfied with yourself if you perform at a high level.
However, self-esteem can vary throughout life. It is completely normal for it to be affected in connection with difficult events in life.
What can you do to strengthen your self-esteem?
- Try to understand yourself
Be curious about what you think and feel. Strive to distinguish between when thoughts and feelings give you valuable information that you should base your actions on and when thoughts and feelings are excessively negative and need to be taken with a pinch of salt. - Set the same demands on yourself as on others
Pay attention to how your inner dialogue sounds and try to nuance unreasonably high demands. Do you really have to live up to them? Train yourself to do “good enough”, pay attention to what fears pop up when you do it and try to dare to do differently despite these. - Practice daring to say yes
Especially to things you are curious about and want to do, and that are good for you. Practice daring to say no to things you do not really want to do, or that are bad for you. - Take care of yourself and your body.
Give yourself exercise, nutritious food, and enough sleep. - Hang out with your team
Try to surround yourself with people who make you feel good and appreciated for who you are.
When to seek professional help
If you have negative thoughts about yourself that affect your well-being and have a negative impact on your life, it may be good to seek help.
You can turn to the Student Health Service for advice and support, or to get guidance on where you can seek help. You can also contact your local health centre or seek help via 1177.se