Problem solving
For things that take your energy and that you can have an influence over, problem solving is a good strategy. Problem solving is best done outside of your head, with paper and pen or in front of the computer, as otherwise there is a great risk that you will just keep brooding over the issue.
Problem solving or acceptance?
Describe specifically: What is it I’m worried about? Is it a current problem where I can use problem solving or is it something I can’t influence?
Yes, I can problem solve it
Make an action plan: What? When? How?
- Define the problem as specifically as possible.
- Determine what about the problem that is within your control.
- Brainstorm different suggestions for solving the problem, without censoring yourself.
- Select the suggestion or suggestions that you consider best suited to the problem.
- Choose a time when you can test the suggestion.
- Evaluate how it goes.
No, I can't influence it
Acceptance:
- Describe the situation as factually as possible for yourself
- Put into words the feelings and thoughts it gives rise to. Do this ONCE. Begin with “I feel…” and “I think that…”
- Make an active choice to accept the worry and other feelings that come, no matter how uncomfortable they seem. Don’t continue thinking about the situation.
- Take an active action, e.g. study, clean or do an exercise in mindfulness to get distance to persistent thoughts. Remember that “this is how things are right now. I don’t need to change anything.”